~"Those Days Are Gone.."~

Living alone....and I've think the all the friends I've known so much...make me frustrated and bored out of loneliness....and I know deep down inside...well everyone be remembered?

     The parents I used to know....my mother...lovely beautiful she is wasn't here anymore for what I've done...and took all the blame against her.I wish I can be forgive.....

~"My mom and me...the 1 year old me~"

Nevertheless....I wish I can let it go anyway.

     For the friends...people out there that I've known...there are people more worse situation than I am and I'm lucky to be alive today...was it not to think how negative instead thinking positively...straight forward to my own hand and future.

           

~"Even they both not at my side...I'm proud to live in this world and thankful I'm alive because of them with love and happiness inside their hearts and soul."~


~"All you gotta do is be yourself...understand the situation...and love the people around you....even they are lost and gone...be remember...."~

~"To Catch the Wind..."~

Imagine how to catch the wind...was it impossible?
           Yes indeed...but instead you can feel the wind that blows through your skin.

Let's just say...

         "Every morning we all wake up and make our own routine...working perhaps for us adults nor studying at school and gain knowledge...but is it a routine we all wanted anyway?"

  Not really necessary to take it as a routine.In many cases I've learn about bored is not we are bored,its because we can't fulfill anything and there is nothing to do about it since we are already bored.
   Talk about bored...we can do something we might wanna do and execute all those "bored" stuff away...which chatting with your friends..lovers...perhaps take a walk with your dog and breath such lovely fresh air outside...or maybe watching the sunset slowly set down till day getting dark.
 
    Today it was a blazing hot day indeed and of course,I got nothing to do and it was kinda bored so I've decided to take a walk.
  Who knows...outside there is much more to see.Its a challenge by the sun which inside was hot...and the outside just another cooling day anyway.
   Slowly I feel the wind and yet I heard sounds inside my head whispering slowly and closely...and I was seating there...watching the sky slowly weeps..shed...dark...and yet...feels with peacefully pleasure indeed.

~"Even clouds get separated...they will be always good tomorrow...nor good day after tomorrow..."~

~"The Night Streets..."~

Was it a man judge out the mind of every box...just some kind out of the box was it not to be within the box?
 
  Last night I was walking alone...when to town to get something I wanted perhaps I was hungry that night.
As I walking...my phone rang and yes people do call...message us...to be careful and yet...that night I did saw something extraordinary.
   The stars that guide every moment of the sweetest to bitter memories and a running gap which link my mind...to someone else out there perhaps someone we love nor someone we used to be.
   The only thing that follows me that night only my shadow...yet slowly disappear in the dark and reappear in the light...by the moment of fear I had to run and to ensure safety that night until I get my puke way was it or not?
   Yeah...I did puke those gut out.

   By the way...last night I enjoyed one the best Raub delicacy...and hopefully my so called "grand daughter" not that hungry last night.

  Besides...
                     Living in Raub is like one part of life to me and I'm glad live in Raub...perhaps...maybe after 10 years nor the future coming Raub will be a great place to live.

              I wish I can do something better out of it and be someone who can remember...

   ~"Night streets singing out of blue...
              The shadow which only follow you...
                     Where lights getting dimmer and dimmer...
                                 There is where you're not alone forever..."~

                                                                                                                       Benny Liew~
                                                                                                                                       
 

~"A Lullaby Night..."~

Every night looking out the window with full of blinking stars and moon shines out with light to cover those darkness...just enough...to hear another lullaby.

 I still remember when I stay with her that night...seating beside her bed and everything slowly when silent.Like a daddy try to make a bedtime story for his daughter before bed.
 
  "Once upon a time...there was a boy who was stuck into a limbo.It was dark...black and silent cause no one dares to enter that place.Do you wanna know why he wants to go there?"

  "Where?"she ask with full excited.

"Because he's searching answer and to know who's the girl behind the limbo and who knows...the girl was...you.."I pranked her.

It was fun to prank someone though...but...those moments I can't truly forget anyway.


27,March.2010

   I still remember I played "HUNT and SEEK" with the friends I've know in the villa and it was fun and memorial cause...well...family perhaps?

This is the link>>

HUNT and SEEK

...and on 28,March.2010...I still remember that I dance with her under the moon...teaching her waltz within one step to another although we're just young kids who don't know anything at all.
Here's another link
Dance On The Moon

I can't forget all those moments even thought it has been years ago...and it's strange that now the feeling I have still strong because...nor perhaps...its how we all understand and learn about it.

Helping Her

Heal of Inspiration

She was having fever and I know...as someone who cares we must help...until..yeah... saving her the little lullaby she used to listen...and the song she loved to listen and all the stories I wrote in a little script even though its just an ordinary paper but still...it has words that keep us both in mind.
      I thought we'll never part but yet...yeah,I know...just have to accept everything in this world.
  Everyone got no choice but to accept what has given by fate anyway...right?

The song...we both used to sing...I miss the way you stroke my hair and pull it and pat your head like little cute puppy...I miss the way you always sneakily sleep in my room...I miss the part when we both dance...I miss almost everything..and the most which I miss is when the way you say good night with adding little snort out there...and I miss you so much.

 Well...worry not because yeah...I'm kinda happy that you gave me everything in life and I hope one day...you'll always be in my memorial...as how every night we sing our lullaby.

                                                                Benny Liew~

 

~"People Stays and Go..."~

I just finish my work and pack up for my next journey stop which concludes flowers and roses.Everything was clear in out and out so I decided to smash up my bags and ready to go.

   Wearing my silly hat might get off my baldness but still those sun shines up my sweat instead...with blue box shirt and jeans.Perhaps wasn't meant for so sure....


   14,January.2011...


               Tears and rain...

How am I gonna forget those sweet memories?
How am I gonna live without the person I've known...
Or was it a bad timing to know them...
Or...was it a test from God...?

    I keep on questioning myself and for instance I fall into a trap where deep down inside my heart it feels so hurt...very hurt...like the internal organ bleeding where you can smile and begone.
      There is one answer bug me long time ago...

 "I shouldn't have met her nor them in the first place..."~

But I can't...it was the most stupid answer I've ever get in my who ruthless life or wasn't it?
 
Ceremony of the death...
     
                              Her mom can't let her go with such pain...her sister...didn't expect to see someone closed lost...her dad...quite and calm but the inside,here(the heart)...smashed out...and me,lost someone who gave the most inspirational life and truth out there within one step to another.
       It was sunny morning...tracing back where we used to see sunset nor sunrise each other.
             The songs she wrote,the letter she gave...the moment she give...the life she shared...the things always bear inside me and the inspirational of music and arts....she plant back to me.
  The reason I'm active wasn't because I wanted too...it's because someone changed me and to understand and understand the pleasure of the outside world.
  The friendship...the people...the family...the love once...its all the thing comes inside you/me.
    Let's just say...without music...you can't live cause music is like life.

Anyway..we are the passenger of this world...none can be stop anyway.

  The other hand...I can't bear the truth for almost..a year and the half and mourn for her lost until today...

 ~"I've got everything I want...the friends I have...the life and pleasure happiness moment that comes...the love of the people around me and not just money nor fame...
               Its everything that comes..."~

           Maybe wasn't to check out how does it feels towards everyone...

 What comes in my mind that...

 "What if...the people I've known might forget me for sure and friends that I've known...may not known anymore?"~

 Not that long until someone gave me the word to understand what is friendship while I'm in National Service PLKN...

  ~"Friendship always come first in handy..."~

And that is one best answer for my stupid question...and yes,friendship always comes first.

Today...

After sending flowers and roses to her,I bid good bye and wish everything will be normal life as usual but...yes,trouble always come but yet I might just have to calm and stay positive anyway~

In life...you always have to stay who you are...appreciate the life you get and things you have done...for eternity to remember for love that has come...

                      With love and joy...
                                                 Benny Liew Nogen (Babe'Dula)
                                                                                           

                         

~"The Simple Little Journal..."~

To all readers out there~!! How'dy~

  My name is Benny Liew and I'm probably growing older this year which I'm 18...perhaps 19 and so on for the next few years...who knows?

  But yet...
                  I'm just an ordinary kid live nor try to live in a simple way.Maybe not too simple as it was.Day by day everything just keep on running within step we are heading through.

   Everyday I'm always thinking about every step that already ruin my past this I take it as a lesson to be learn...and learn back from my mistakes I've already done.

Imagine of a worldly freedom and solid cloud floating here and there...
                                         ...and finally a world of great serenity in life...no rage...just peace.
For more than a decade I lived and working out my daily routine makes me out through my own decision of my own life.

  I had many names and so does we all had many fames.One single call made us cross out through every tunnel of something that always remind us..

             "Our love once..."~

 So...there's always simple journal we always recorded in our mind...and what we do is created memories of good nor evil...bad nor spiritually making us to understand more about people and us...perhaps to yourself too.

   How simple it goes...as always...~

1.The Passage I've been Through...

Every year,every moment…just the same. Once I awake...never returns. I wish I can turn back what I wanted to be with...back to them.The life we used to have since childhood but everything just disappeared without a trace. I wish...there is something that I could do but there is nothing for them to return to my side.The more I think about them,the more my heart feel pain inside.

       I miss them so much.Especially her, the girl I used to be together with.Wendyll..a sweet name with sweet memories. I was the one who being useless, looking into her dying eyes.But..I miss her laugh,her jokes,her sense of humours,her memories,her hugs,her smiles and...our first time kiss. Our kisses. I wish I can see her again one day if...I'm given one more time, one more chance.

 "Ben...remember,we use to mess around the alley street next to that shop?" she pointed her finger at the shop. She smiled at me...brightly...

 "Huh...yeah,of course I remember." I just look at her smile joyfully but then...

"Remember...we use to mess around with...Lawrence....back then?" with her sad slow voice tone inside her,speaking of him who just passed away. I understand how she feels towards Lawrence that time. It was nothing we can do anymore.He's gone forever but in our heart we still have the memories of him.

I've wonder how we two can looks alike.We both usually fight over Wendyll when we was young but she wants me rather than him.Maybe because I was one year older than them.And...we used to have another friend named May.We four used to be together until...she changed and nothing is worth between our relationship with her anymore.

       I was wondering...in my life, can it worth so much to everyone else or...just fade away like a words being erased away by an eraser, leaving little or no signs at all?

      I wish...I can see them again.Just once..

                                                                               …..again...

Based on few years back....

                     Passenger...what does it mean to be a passenger?

 Was it...because we all live in this planet to understand more about the world that more we all can imagine or was it...something to experience so long...till our age ends?

      Just as example I write about how Ben's life with Wendyll?

  Was it a pleasure life that people as a lesson without pain is truly meaningless?

    Sometimes we all had let go of all our past and accept it not take it as a burden.

            As a passenger...

         We all share...as a messenger to share all the message we all got and now...from the passage we all going through...

              ...as a passenger...for we are.