I just finish my work and pack up for my next journey stop which concludes flowers and roses.Everything was clear in out and out so I decided to smash up my bags and ready to go.
Wearing my silly hat might get off my baldness but still those sun shines up my sweat instead...with blue box shirt and jeans.Perhaps wasn't meant for so sure....
14,January.2011...
Tears and rain...
How am I gonna forget those sweet memories?
How am I gonna live without the person I've known...
Or was it a bad timing to know them...
Or...was it a test from God...?
I keep on questioning myself and for instance I fall into a trap where deep down inside my heart it feels so hurt...very hurt...like the internal organ bleeding where you can smile and begone.
There is one answer bug me long time ago...
"I shouldn't have met her nor them in the first place..."~
But I can't...it was the most stupid answer I've ever get in my who ruthless life or wasn't it?
Ceremony of the death...
Her mom can't let her go with such pain...her sister...didn't expect to see someone closed lost...her dad...quite and calm but the inside,here(the heart)...smashed out...and me,lost someone who gave the most inspirational life and truth out there within one step to another.
It was sunny morning...tracing back where we used to see sunset nor sunrise each other.
The songs she wrote,the letter she gave...the moment she give...the life she shared...the things always bear inside me and the inspirational of music and arts....she plant back to me.
The reason I'm active wasn't because I wanted too...it's because someone changed me and to understand and understand the pleasure of the outside world.
The friendship...the people...the family...the love once...its all the thing comes inside you/me.
Let's just say...without music...you can't live cause music is like life.
Anyway..we are the passenger of this world...none can be stop anyway.
The other hand...I can't bear the truth for almost..a year and the half and mourn for her lost until today...
~"I've got everything I want...the friends I have...the life and pleasure happiness moment that comes...the love of the people around me and not just money nor fame...
Its everything that comes..."~
Maybe wasn't to check out how does it feels towards everyone...
What comes in my mind that...
"What if...the people I've known might forget me for sure and friends that I've known...may not known anymore?"~
Not that long until someone gave me the word to understand what is friendship while I'm in National Service PLKN...
~"Friendship always come first in handy..."~
And that is one best answer for my stupid question...and yes,friendship always comes first.
Today...
After sending flowers and roses to her,I bid good bye and wish everything will be normal life as usual but...yes,trouble always come but yet I might just have to calm and stay positive anyway~
In life...you always have to stay who you are...appreciate the life you get and things you have done...for eternity to remember for love that has come...
With love and joy...
Benny Liew Nogen (Babe'Dula)
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